Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
