I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
