Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
