Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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