If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
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