what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
