i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
