five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
