just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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