this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
