Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
