lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
