Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
wow bdsm is so cute
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
