there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
