I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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