i think my tv is drunk
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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