I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Randomize
