You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize
