I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
