He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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