put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize