I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
one two three fourrrrnication!
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
