So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
