She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
We just shotgunned beers for America
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
