Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
