Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Panties = found
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