I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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