haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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