Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
