I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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