does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
