omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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