am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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