I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
