bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
