you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Randomize
