turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
