Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
