Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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