god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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