He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
