U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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