your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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