yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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