Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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