dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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