fuck your aforementioned shoe
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
