it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
