There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
