is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
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